Hey y’all, you might’ve noticed that I’ve been absent from tumblr for awhile now. I realized that what it currently is to me is a way to waste time that actually just stresses me out for the most part. So, I’m probably going away, at least for awhile - I’ve been on here for a good 5 years now and it’s probably about time I take a break anyway. I may be coming back, but I’m not sure right now. If I do come back, it’ll most likely be at this same url, and if not I’ll post about it on here so you can refollow at the new address.

If you’d like to keep up with me (I know I’d like to keep up with a good number of you), please message me with the best way to keep in contact and I’ll give you my facebook/email address/maybe phone number if I think we know each other well enough. Thanks!


Q
So I'm confused. I was unaware that GSM/GSRM was a term used in reference to and against people of color? Can you explain, I can't find this anywhere?
A

It’s the word “minority”, specifically. I can’t point you toward specific resources right now because I don’t know any off the top of my head and I’m pretty busy atm, but the issue is specifically with the “minority” part of the acronym(s).


welp I have a paper to work on and tumblr is, as I have recently discovered after leaving it for 3 weeks, extremely tiring, so later gators I got important shit to get done


Educational conversations aren’t necessarily directed at you

fuckyeahsexeducation:

onyourownsidethistime:

realsocialskills:

Marginalized people often are prevented from knowing really important things. Things that they need to know in order to live in the world.

Some conversations about things like privilege and oppression are primarily conversations between marginalized people about how to notice what’s going on and live well in a world that hates them.

These are not the same kinds of conversation as general talk about the nature of privilege or how the world works. They’re also not the same as conversations that are oriented towards getting powerful people to care about the problems of marginalized people. 

Sometimes, conversations are for peer support and work done between people who are directly affected by an issue. Sometimes they’re for people who need to understand what’s going on in a particular case, without having to explain from the beginning that the issue exists.

And often, those conversations get derailed by privileged people who assume that the conversation has space for them. (Sometimes, very well meaning privileged people who don’t understand that what they are doing is harmful.)

For instance, here’s a way it can play out:

  • Some disabled people are talking about body image or feeling physically repulsive after an instance of discrimination
  • Then someone comes and says “Hi, I’m wanting to check my able-bodied privilege here. I’ve never heard of this. Why do you feel that way?”
  • This can be really derailing and make the problem impossible to discuss, even if the person means well
  • Because sometimes you need to discuss these things with people who understand and can have insightful things to say *based on already understanding certain things*
  • And it can be really emotionally exhausting to need emotional, intellectual, and conceptual support, and then be interrupted by people who don’t understand and might be skeptical
  • Sometimes, you just want to know that you’re not alone
  • Sometimes you need to talk to people who have been there and can help you to understand it and to bear it
  • People talking about something doesn’t mean they have to be up for talking about the thing with everyone who is interested
  • It doesn’t mean that they have to be up for discussing it with every *well meaning* person who is interested, either
  • Sometimes that’s not even possible, particularly when just starting to think about and articulate the problem is terrifying and draining (which is really common, especially for people who have never had peer support before and are under attack constantly.)

It’s not always easy to tell which kind of conversation it is, but when marginalized people from a group you’re not part of are talking about something awful they’re dealing with, it’s important to be mindful of the possibility that this is not a conversation you should be participating in.

Some approaches I think help:

  • If a blog tells you that it’s for a certain group, and you’re not a member of that group, don’t weigh in on its threads
  • If someone tells you to get off their thread on Tumblr, it’s usually important to do so, particularly if it originated from a personal blog
  • If you see a conversation that looks like it might be oriented towards people personally experiencing the thing or who have back, and you want to ask a question, ask privately first
  • And ask if it’s ok to ask a question about the thing and *be prepared to take no for an answer*

Usual standard note when I’m discussing this topic: This is not that kind of blog - this is a public blog and it’s not for any group in particular. You can ask anything here that you’re sincerely interested it, and it’s ok to comment on things. I reblog things I see when I want to respond or boost; I answer asks when I feel like I have something to say. 

But group-specific blogs, spaces, and conversations very much do need to exist, and it’s important to respect that.

This is such a great unpacking of this phenomenon and why it can be harmful.

This is why I try to specifically focus on marginalized groups in sex education because so many groups go without information tailored to them in sex and health.


nightdestroyer:

friendlyangryfeminist:

Also, important about why GSM/GSRM is an incredibly flawed term to refer to the LGBT+ community:

Lars Ullerstam, who coined the term in his 1966 book “The Erotic Minorities” included and defended pedophilia and incest - equating it with homosexuality and transgender people.

So yeah! REALLY FUCKING AWFUL TERM TO USE TO REFER TO THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY

that seems like kinda not a good enough reason to avoid using a term

"some guy used this term for the first time and he also held some really fucked up views, so you can’t use it now, even if you came up with it completely out of the blue and didn’t know about its past usage"

Well, that’s on top of the fact that a lot of people of color have stated that they feel pretty uncomfortable with white folks using the term because it’s sort of co-opting a term that his historically been used about and against them. In my mind, there’s a lot of reasons why it isn’t appropriate, and I don’t particularly want to be associated with a) appropriating something I shouldn’t and b) being equated with pedophilia and incest, in addition because it has a pathologizing origin. So those are my reasons for not wanting to be associated with the term, but obviously other folks have their own reasons for wanting or not wanting to be referred to with it.


(via knitmeapony)


justnuts:

democracyandassassination:

hawk-and-handsaw:

reverse hades/persephone, where the young daughter of summer uses plant magic to ensnare the lord of darkness and keep him prisoner in a beautiful garden above ground. Eventually, enchanted by her cleverness and wild youth he agrees to eat six pomegranate seeds and stay with her for half of every year. 

# ID READ THE FUCK OUT OF THAT # HE TRIES BEING ALL IMPOSINGLY MIGHTY AND WRATHFUL WHILE PERSPHONE JUST GOES ON WATERING THE FLOWERS OUTSIDE HIS CAGE # HE PETITIONS TO AT LEAST GET SOME DEATHBELL AND NIGHTSHADE AND ASPHODEL GROWING IN THERE BUT IT’S ALL LOTUSES AND SUNFLOWERS AND APPLES # AND LIKE CORN EVERYWHERE HE FUCKING HATES CORN # THEY COMPROMISE ON POMEGRANATES (x)

It’d be even funnier if the other gods show up all “Persephone, hey, you got the lord of death in there so no one’s dying anymore and the world is getting too full—” “Not my problem”

(via bluandorange)


friendlyangryfeminist:

Also, important about why GSM/GSRM is an incredibly flawed term to refer to the LGBT+ community:

Lars Ullerstam, who coined the term in his 1966 book “The Erotic Minorities” included and defended pedophilia and incest - equating it with homosexuality and transgender people.

So yeah! REALLY FUCKING AWFUL TERM TO USE TO REFER TO THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY

(via microstank)


(via microstank)


adrians:

I wish spongebob would leave me alone so I could play my clarinet in peace

adrians:

I wish spongebob would leave me alone so I could play my clarinet in peace

(via supey)